14 months later

It’s taken 14 months to get to this place. In another 14 months I will be in another place. This journey has changed me and will forever change me as I continue on this path. I will forever be learning how to live without Alexx.

I am not broken and I am not damaged. I may never be whole again but my heart and soul are healing around the void in my heart. Alexx will ALWAYS be in heart. That will never change. Not because of death. Death does not get that too.

Do not feel sorry for me. I have loved a human tremendously. I hope everyone can experience that type of love. His loss is felt in everything I do. My hopes and dreams for him may have perished with him but his memories will always live on. Death will never take that from me.

I have loved and lost not only Alexx over the past 14 months. Some things are simply too much to handle by choice. There is only so much hurt some families can withstand. It isn’t always a sad thing. We just need to plant our seeds somewhere else to bloom. And we all deserve that in life.

Today is not a milestone or anniversary. It’s simply a day. One day, I hope, the 29th won’t have any power over me. I hope to relive Alexxs life and cherish those times instead of think of his death. He was so much bigger than that day and that moment. However, I have survived 14 months. I am still here. And I will continue to keep moving forward for Alexx. Yes, I’m still scarred that Death chose my son that day, however, it will chose us all someday. We all know this. No one promised us anything in regards to our time on earth. So live now. Love now. Laugh now. Find what fills your spirit and embrace it. Love your people and yourself.

❤️ Jes.

Always missing my Alexx. 2.29.00 – 11.29.17 – Senior Day.